Ironwoman

I am human. I am strong. I am willing. I am infinite.

I am human, which makes me better than any other living creature. I am worthy, you are worthless.

I am human, so I can inflict pain on others without having to be ashamed, without regrets.

I am human, so why should I care if animals gets beaten or tortured to death? I know I'm better. I know I am worthy and they are not. I have to show them who's the leader, who rules this planet. They were here before me, but I own everything because I have more brain power. I'm smarter, therefore stronger, therefore better.

I know that I have a mission and that I am more unique and rare than anyone else. I am above every living creature and fellow human, above the angels. I am above God.

I am human and this makes me materialistic and greedy. No matter how much I have in life I'm constantly craving more. It's never enough. I have to prove my worth, show people how great I am.

I am human. I'm always complaining about how lonely I am, even though I know that I'm not alone. I just have to complain to keep the attention on me. Because the whole world revolves around me and everyone has to keep their focus on what's most important.

I am selfish and egoistic. I only want people in my life so they can please me. I say that I care about them but in reality all I care about is myself. I keep them in my life just so I won't have to be alone, but I can get rid of them just as easily, regardless of how much pain I may cause them by doing so. I'm more important. I will judge my friends and family for things they do, even though I'm currently making the same mistakes as them. Because I have the right to judge. They don't.

I am human, so I put a razor to my skin because it's easier to deal with the physical than the psycological pain. I am weak. I am pathetic. I get high on medicine or drugs, because it makes me feel better for the moment. I am not strong enough to hold on without it.

I am human, so I drown my sorrows in alcohol because it's easier than to deal with my problems. I always search for the simple solutions. I drink and smoke cigarettes. I don't take care of my body and health because I'm not strong enough to even care about myself.

I don't care about consequences. I eat and drink whatever I want. I say whatever I have in my mind and I sleep with whoever I want to sleep with. I am unfaithful towards the ones that tries to own me and I let my friends down. Because when I want something, I will have it. Because I am worth it, no matter how many people I hurt along the way. If I can't have what I want, I will keep complaining and crave attention. Keep cutting through my skin and drink my problems in the form of alcohol.

I am human. I can't control my feelings or thoughts. I can't contain my happiness, or sadness, or anger. I just let it burst. I go around bragging about my armor of steel even though it's more likely an armor of fragile glass. I fall so easily on my own and expects everyone to help me once I decide that I want to get back up. If people won't help me, they are worthless. I am always right and always better than them.

Or am I? Am I really worthy of this throne that I built for myself to sit in? Am I really better than any other race, gender or animal? Did God create me to stand above everything else? No.

I am human. I am weak. I am selfish. I am pathetic.

I am human.

I am a monster.